My grandpa showed me a speeding ticket he got from one of those traffic cameras and said he's gonna fight it. His defense: "I didn't know it was there." bro, I don't think they're gonna believe you.
My parents just moved to my neighborhood after living many hours away almost my entire adult life. My dad has dropped some hints about porch beers with me and apparently just couldn't wait any longer...
Pops
Ah hell, I accidentally bought too many beers again. You better come over and help me get rid of them before your mother gets home.
now
Is this Mark? Yeah, who's this? Justin's friend Daniel. Can you pick us up at Terrace Point Way? Your brother got wasted and tried to Super Mario 64 his way into a painting. He's fine but the painting is not and the girl who's throwing the party is not happy.
When my 13 yo daughter was 5 I taught her that squeezing 3 times while holding hands means I Love You. I did this for the sole purpose of being able to secretly tell her this as I walked her down the isle one day...without bawling like a baby.
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