when i was fresh out the psych ward in 8th grade and i was really bored in spanish class so i raised my hand and said “me gusta comer caca” and my teacher went on a rant about how i needed professional help in front of the whole class
Guy in bar: The biggest fight I got into was with 4 huge guys
Other guy: I fought 6 at once
Me: One time, I had to convince a toddler to put his shoes on
*music stops and everyone in the bar stares at me*
Me: ...and they had laces
*one guy throws up*
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