Guy in bar: The biggest fight I got into was with 4 huge guys
Other guy: I fought 6 at once
Me: One time, I had to convince a toddler to put his shoes on
*music stops and everyone in the bar stares at me*
Me: ...and they had laces
*one guy throws up*
HOW TO SPLIT OREOS with Death
First, gently twist the biscuits and cream apart
Like so
Then, peel the biscuit soul from the biscuit... The cream soul from the cream...
And now, we are ready to dunk!
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