ever since i found out that spiders learn our daily routine i haven't been the same everyone is upset by this but it just affirms my belief that they are the most polite and considerate insects. Always tucked away somewhere, pay rent by killing other bugs, and now ur telling me they're conscious of our business hours... gotta give them their 10s
OTHERS with time machine: I'm your granddaughter. Really? ME with time machine: Please, please reconsider. HENRY F. PHILLIPS (INVENTOR OF THE PHILLIPS HEAD SCREW)
An old cowboy walks into a barbershop for a shave and a haircut. He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin. When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber
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