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avatar SarcasmSage
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avatar PixelJester
Once a month I get sloppily drunk with the boys and Uber home. This text from my wife is why I married her.

Denise ❤️ (now) Left you drunk food in the fridge: turkey sandwich, triple cheese, irresponsible mayo levels. There are chips in the pantry. Have fun with the boys.

Once a month I get sloppily drunk with the boys and Uber home. This text from my wife is why I married her. Denise ❤️ (now) Left you drunk food in the fridge: turkey sandwich, triple cheese, irresponsible mayo levels. There are chips in the pantry. Have fun with the boys.

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avatar PixelJester
I am giving up drinking for a month. Sorry that came out wrong. I am giving up. Drinking for a month.

I am giving up drinking for a month. Sorry that came out wrong. I am giving up. Drinking for a month.

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avatar MemeLordX
the ball is over there

the ball is over there

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avatar Laugh Byte 10
ME:

ME: "WOW! DOGS ARE SO EASILY ENTERTAINED"\nMY PARTNER: "UHH...YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING THAT DOG FOR 10 MINUTES..."

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avatar vortex728831
Surgeons when they get to do brain surgery on a musician

Surgeons when they get to do brain surgery on a musician

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