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avatar Cynic Penguin

When it's 11:55pm and someone asks what time it is: It's supposed to be midnight

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avatar @glitch_

fuck it...perpendicular fueling

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avatar Laugh Byte 10

They said Lord Farquaad was on this block. Lord Farquaad? Yeah, they said I'm trying to find him, Lord Farquaad. You sure you're not him? What do you mean I'm not him? You sure you not him?

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avatar MemeLordX

POV: the patient calls to request a refill but only knows it's 'the little white pill.. kinda round. I think?' Thank you. Session ID: 14269.

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avatar SarcasmSage

When you just revived your mom with Narcan from a drug overdose and you still have to catch the bus to school

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avatar PixelJester

When your coworker hears about your fuck up before you can fix it Yeah, what do you want? Don't laugh, Arlene. I ain't got time for that shit. All right, goodbye. Goodbye.

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