Your taxes don't go to roads or schools... They go to wars you didn't vote for, foreign countries that hate us, and covering up crimes they'll never prosecute. Almost NOTHING they take from you actually helps your life.
California wildlife expert: if a sea turtle comes within 10 feet of me I am required by law to kill myself ceremonially
Louisiana wildlife expert: (as alligator climbs onto boat) we aren't supposed to give them more than a bag of marshmallows a day..
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