My dog just unlocked my phone by sitting on it. My phone has Face ID. My phone just mistook a dog's butthole for my face. I don’t think my self-esteem is ever going to recover from this.
Left: 19 month sentence - Kicked a six-year-old girl in the head; Punched a woman in the face; Punched a police officer in the abdomen. Right: 30 month sentence - Chanted 'who the fuck is Allah'
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![Me: I need to hang out more and meet new people
New people: Hi!
Me:
[image of a chicken running away]](https://cdn.lolio.app/data/upload/2026/02/20/4663423.jpg)
