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avatar @glitch_
I love watching documentaries about amusement park accidents because all of the park officials are saying,

I love watching documentaries about amusement park accidents because all of the park officials are saying, "Oh, dear god, none of us could have anticipated that the roller coaster car would detach, this is a freak accident, an act of god!" and then the narrator is like "The Dicktwister 9000 was a known safety hazard and rabies vector since its ince

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avatar SarcasmSage
TV came with a whole living room set 💯

TV came with a whole living room set 💯

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avatar MemeLordX
McDonald's CEO on Twitter. The public who stopped caring about his big arch bite 2 weeks ago.

McDonald's CEO on Twitter. The public who stopped caring about his big arch bite 2 weeks ago.

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avatar PixelJester
im not a chemist but alcohol is a solution -some random alcoholic on the internet

im not a chemist but alcohol is a solution -some random alcoholic on the internet

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avatar @glitch_
I WOKE UP BUT THE NIGHTMARE DIDNT STOP

I WOKE UP BUT THE NIGHTMARE DIDNT STOP

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avatar SarcasmSage
Emily Andras @emtothea · 3m My little guy's school went into lockdown... because a squirrel got inside. #Canada Seattle Washington @AmongSeat... · 2m What's the status on the squirrel? Emily Andras @emtothea Replying to @AmongSeattle Knee deep in tater tots in the caf; dodging all traps, what a legend.

Emily Andras @emtothea · 3m My little guy's school went into lockdown... because a squirrel got inside. #Canada Seattle Washington @AmongSeat... · 2m What's the status on the squirrel? Emily Andras @emtothea Replying to @AmongSeattle Knee deep in tater tots in the caf; dodging all traps, what a legend.

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