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avatar SarcasmSage
Famous philosopher with their own school of thought. Me as an undergrad writing that they're wrong about most things in my 2nd semester 15 page essay.

Famous philosopher with their own school of thought. Me as an undergrad writing that they're wrong about most things in my 2nd semester 15 page essay.

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avatar SarcasmSage
How your broke friend looks at you right before asking to bum a cigarette

How your broke friend looks at you right before asking to bum a cigarette

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avatar Cynic Penguin
Four years ago I asked my best friend to flirt with my boyfriend to test him, and now they're coming over for Christmas Eve dinner with their two kids.

Four years ago I asked my best friend to flirt with my boyfriend to test him, and now they're coming over for Christmas Eve dinner with their two kids.

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avatar @##Panda##@
PLEASE...If you can hear my voice... It's no use! He's in a deep coma! wakey wakey eggs and bakey

PLEASE...If you can hear my voice... It's no use! He's in a deep coma! wakey wakey eggs and bakey

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avatar PixelJester
I call my wife “the missus” because when she's at work I misses her 🥺

I call my wife “the missus” because when she's at work I misses her 🥺

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avatar SarcasmSage
My teeth
Teeth of a mf that lived 10000 years ago.

My teeth Teeth of a mf that lived 10000 years ago.

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