*1 in 4 car accidents are caused by texting and driving*
People: "Won't be me."
*1 in 302,575,350 chance of winning the Mega Millions*
People: "You never know."
Went on a Tinder date last night. We both quickly realized we weren't each other's type, so we just got drunk and agreed to be friends. Later we got late-night food and she absolutely demolished a BBQ sandwich in a way that made me realize two things: 1. I was right about the friendship. 2. I would never survive a relationship with this woman.
Pul
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